Thursday, 23 February 2012


Ok. I've been tagged for a "meme". What is a "meme"? I'm guessing it's something that requires discussing "me,me,me" depending on who "you,you,you" are. So, having been tagged by fellow, much more active blogger, to be found at, I'll get on and answer the questions ...

A Mother’s Work Meme.
  1. Please post the rules check!
  2. Answer the questions in as much or as little detail as suits you check!
  3. Leave a comment on so we can keep track of the meme check!
  4. Tag 3 people and link to them on your blog check (will 2 do?, don't have enough followers :-(
  5. Let them know you tagged them check!
  6. Tweet loudly about taking part (well ok, that isn’t a rule, but how about if we start a hashtag – #amothersworkmeme will try ...
  1. Did you work before becoming a mum?
  2. What is your current situation?
  3. Freestyle – got your own point you’d like to get across on this issue? Here’s your chance…
And, most importantly…. you’re tagged!!

1. Did I work before becoming a mum?
Yes, I did. After years of studying and working lots of unpaid hours, I finally qualified (with letters after my name and everything) as an accountant out in industry. Its' no doubt still the case, that long hours are almost mandatory and definitely expected to prove yourself worthy of this profession. A profession, which, if my few attempts to get back into it, are anything to go by, not willing to entertain anyone who still can't run up those hours.

2. My current situation (with a tiny bit of history):
My children are now almost 11 and 9 and I have worked in some capacity, professionally, for myself and now others since 2004 with forays into other "projects" in the meantime. I returned to work part-time with my daughter going to a childminder. Working simply to pay childcare, seemed pointless when I went on to have my son. So after maternity leave ended I stacked shelves in Tesco one Xmas just to do something, so we had a Xmas. From 2004 I helped my husband set up his business and still do his accounts today. At the time, with two little peeps, that was enough although money was extremely tight. As son started school and the business was doing well, we moved and I started a gift shop. All went well and we branched out to a coffee shop. This coincided with the start of the largest recession in history so things began to become too pressured. This coupled with exorbitant business rates, taxes up to the eye teeth and employees who really took the "p", made us sell-up. I am not in a rush to be an employer again. Another move followed, back to our "roots" and I still do the accounts for the shops, my husband and a couple of other clients locally. A friend has now joined me to learn the ropes and it's our vision to expand and "employ" other mums who are articulate, numerate , employable yet restricted to school hours.

3. Freestyle:
Mums, working or not, are blamed for every wrong and the last to get any credit for all the right in our society. We will be the ones who provide the employees, the MP's (heaven forbid), the doctors, nurses, teachers, binmen, paper boys of tomorrow. As a country, parenting should be valued. Yes, it's a choice but if some of us don't choose to do it, who's going to be paying the taxes to keep what's left of the pensions afloat or flying the planes to take the childless OAP's to enjoy your retirement in sunnier climes?

One more thing, I cannot stand the types of articles about "how do they do it all?" These pieces, usually about a woman, who holds some fancy job, in a fancy organisation who has an equally successful partner and a couple of kids somewhere, conveniently, out of the picture. It is the sheer suggestion that they "have it all" and "do it all" that makes my blood boil. We could be just the same if (a) we had shed loads of cash; (b) paid someone to do all the chuff jobs we hate doing and (c) farmed the kids out to boarding school as soon as they were old enough and only had to see them at holidays. Is that proper parenting or parenting at your convenience? The perpeptual reporting of this mythical state of being makes me mad. A whole generation, I feel, has been spoon fed this utterly false state of existence. You cannot "do it all", all at the same time and survive with your sanity intact. Not without a whole host of help and support. Paid for or otherwise.


  1. Wow! What a brilliant read! Thank you so much for taking part in this. It is absolutely mad to think that as a trained accountant, you ended up stacking shelves in a supermarket so you could help ends meet. Nothing wrong with shelf-stacking of course, but what a waste of your talents - and income potential - thanks to a society that doesn't give mother's the support they need.

    Your freestyle is incredibly powerful, especially the bit about being spoon fed this idea that you can do it all.

    1. Thanks for your retweet and feedback. Chat soon :-)

  2. Another WOW! You really captured this perfectly. To me it seems that you ARE incredibly successful, you've taken risks, contributed to the economy, raised two children and kept your marriage in tact. To be it sounds like you do have it all. I agree though about those pukey stories in magazines about glamourous women with top paid jobs who have nannies and cleaners. I hope the sacrifice they have made (their children) is worth all that make up and money. When they are 60 and their children don't want to know them I hope they will feel it is worth it.

    1. Thanks for the retweet, feedback and sharing the meme on FB. Onwards and upwards ...

  3. I totally agree with you about those 'how do they do it all?' articles. It's just not possible to do it all and be there for your children. I have written an article on 'What about a mother's needs?' today.

  4. Thanks for your feedback. I read your article and agree with quite a bit of it but once you have multiple children the gap of being away from work spent meeting children's needs, mum's needs are pushed that wee bit further down the to do list for that bit longer
    Also, in some mummy circles, there's a level of competition, of martyrdom, that becomes hard to stomach.
    I have applied, been interviewed and assessed for "lesser" posts only to be told "we don't think it'll be enough to keep you interested". Frustrating.

  5. Agree parenting is undervalued. People are so quick to judge mothers, and look down on them ... which is why we need to stick together and support each other. I'm one of the many mums who works part-time, and I am also the mum and main carer of my two kids - without a huge amount of help. I try so hard to be good at everything and usually feel like I am not that great at anything. WAH! Oh, and then I tell myself off for wallowing in self-pity when there are so many people worse off than me. I CAN'T WIN!!!